▌If I could do that, I wouldn’t have lived like this The older I lived, the more life stories I heard. This is an interesting place for me. A friend said, "After my husband retired, he was full of fun and said that life was boring. No matter wh...
▌If I could do that, I wouldn’t have lived like this The older I lived, the more life stories I heard. This is an interesting place for me.
A friend said, "After my husband retired, he was full of fun and said that life was boring. No matter what he did, he didn't mean to answer, and he encouraged or thorned. He finally had a fight. He finally decided to "I wouldn't be like that if I could do that."
Someone quoted a sentence from the literary scholar Tolstoy to evaluate marriage: "Happy marriages are the same, and unfortunate marriages have many different reasons." To describe life, this sentence can be applied to the elderly whether they are happy or not.
▌Hundreds of reasons for being unhappy
I read "Of Human Bondage" by William Somerset Maugham, a famous British drama writer and novelist, thinking that the author is to strengthen the story and create that character. Only after living all the way can I understand that psychological experts say "character determines a person's life." Most happy elderly people have the same open and optimistic personality, while most unhappy elderly people have many different personalities.
Since that's the case, should you still talk about the experience of the elderly? "If I could do that, I wouldn't be like that!" Yes, if the same problem falls on people of different personalities, there will be different reactions. But if a person is not old, who doesn't know what it is to be old. When young people look at old age, they are almost the same as those in movies. Middle-aged people feel a little bit old. When they see old age, they say, "I didn't know that I had a waist before I was 60 years old." They have to know that I have a waist after being furrowed and hurt. Whether it is a doctor's treatment or other people's experience, it has increased their attitude and methods to treat "back".
When retired from the job site, many people think that the sky is shining and can "do whatever they want", but if you are not prepared enough, you will find that you are facing a wasteland later. So I was at a loss and had no peace of mind. I thought that the elderly life was sad, discriminated, and sick, so I was suppressed and I couldn't see anyone. He scoffed at the old people who live a happy life: "I have a handful of old bones, what's the fun to be happy!" But some people still hope to have a lively, healthy and fulfilling life when they are old. Then, the expert's theoretical method, the life experience of happy elderly people is indispensable.
There are always various reasons for the character to be closed to change: it's not interesting, I'm worth it, what's useful, I've known it for a long time, I don't want to see those people, what I'm learning when I'm old, I don't remember, he's him, I'm me, it's generally said that retired men are more difficult to live without a job than women. "They" used to do their best at work, and rarely had fun in the industry. Apart from colleagues, there were fewer friends who could "gossip"; a person always traveled alone, not looking at the flowers and plants on the road and the white clouds in the sky. It would be hard to be happy!
▌Retirement is actually a kind of trainingIn fact, just open a piece of fine arts and let the clear wind blow in, and the wasteland will have color and vitality.
There is a real example: when my wife faces her retired husband who is always worried, she uses all kinds of ways to speak. When she is determined to give up, she suddenly sees a yellow book on the wall, which was written by her husband more than 50 years ago. No one has long since said "see" the words "I've seen" in the marriage of food, rice, oil, salt, and raising children. So she started with this letter and finally let the gentleman pick up the pen ink again.
"I am very interested in it. I study ink and paper all day long, and I am very willing to spend money! I went to the book fairs everywhere and made several book fairs. But the children were a little afraid that they would write the word "someone who was young." Her smile was a little complicated. But the pressure on her emotions was lifted by the people around her, and only those who have experienced it knew.
"If I could do that, I wouldn't be like this." It is not absolutely impossible to change. Happy old age is a kind of practice. Sometimes you rely on other people's guidance to help, sometimes you rely on your own insights. As long as you don't seal yourself tightly, just open a piece of detail.
Personality may not be changed, but human nature is not impossible.
※ This article is excerpted from "Stand Upright at Ninety, Continue Dance to the End: Mrs. Vivi’s Happy Old Age"."Stand upright at the 90th, continue to dance to the end point: Mrs. Weiwei's happy old age"
Author: Le Zhu Jun (Mrs. Weiwei)
Publisher: Life in the World
Publication date: 2022/03/30
